Kings Cross transport infrastructure is set to receive a further boost with announcement of plans later today of a new ultra high speed link connecting High Speed 2 from the North and High Speed 1 to France. The Kazakhstan KX Investment Group Ltd are preparing to fund a MagLev to speed passengers between Euston and St Pancras at up to 300 mph. The huge power of superconducting magnets will propel the train from zero to 300 miles per hour and back to zero over the course of the journey. Any passengers that survive the 7G forces will be offered a place on the Kazakhstan astronaut programme.
Closing the huge gap between the two stations has been an important objective for local councils. Chronic local air pollution on the Euston Road has meant that several oxygen rich breathing stations were being planned for travellers acclimatised to the fresh air of Manchester and Birmingham and unable to cope with London smog. These will now not be required. Engineers models had also shown that a colossal ditch would be gouged out along the Euston Road by millions of wheelie luggage wheels – the Terry Farrell ‘SomersTown East-West Ha Ha’ plan is now on hold pending completion of the Euston maglev.
To meet local concerns the maglev will be in a deep tunnel between the stations. To counter the well known problems maglevs have with pneumatic resistance in tunnels the route will be five times as wide as it is long. The Kings Cross cavern (as it will be known) will itself become a tourist attraction with a Floating Market designed by Neil Gaiman. The market will be based on the River Fleet that will be rerouted through the cavern.
The Euston maglev will also form a core component of CrossRail2. A government spokesman said:
‘Frankly it’s much more likely that CrossRail2 will be built if it has a maglev component. It’s shiny things like this that politicians understand.’
Network Rail could not be reached. At all.
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April fool!!
On 1 April 2014 08:47, Kings Cross Environment
*like* Can’t wait till this opens Will, have always wanted to be an astronaut and now I might stand a chance. Will they serve dehydrated water from the buffet car for safety’s sake?
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